Samantha poked a loose strand of brown hair under her stocking cap with a grimy finger. The smell of hamburgers made her mouth water and stomach grumble. As she pulled the stiff blanket tight to her neck, she watched a woman leave the McDonalds. "Spare change?" she asked in a soft voice.
The woman wore a lavender business suit and her auburn hair looked salon styled. She narrowed her icy blue eyes, waved a hand covered with rings in a shooing motion. "You're not getting no booze money from me. Get a job." She turned dismissing her.
Samantha touched the lavender elbow. "I don't drink. I'm just hungry."
The woman snatched her arm away and shoved Samantha. "Don't touch me you filthy animal!"
Samantha teetered for a moment, and grabbed for the woman's arm. The woman shrieked and leapt back. Samantha struck sidewalk hard enough to see stars. Dazed she pulled her blanket tight, as she watched the woman scurry away. Why did she do that?
Questions like that, often led her into the darkness, where she wished she could join her family in heaven. She pushed that thought away.
With a start she realized that a man crouched in front of her, offering his hand. He had sun-bleached hair, kind blue eyes, and a tanned face.
"You, okay?" he asked.
"Yes." Samantha smiled, confused. She felt her face warm. The man helped her to her feet, smiled, and headed into the restaurant. She stood staring. He'd treated her like a person. That reminded her of better times.
Reaching into her pocket she jingled the change. It should be enough to dull the ache in her stomach. She entered the McDonalds through the side door near the restrooms. The smell of hamburgers made her mouth water and her stomach clench.
As she headed for the lady's room, an employee moved to block her. She jingled the change and he let her pass. Drying her hands, she gazed at her reflection in the mirror. The weathered face looking back apeared sixty, not forty. She sniffed, fighting back the tears. Had it really only been two years since that drunk driver took her family?
His widow had spent more on lawyers than Samantha had asked for in compensation. That woman never even met her face to face. She denied that her drunk husband had killed a wonderful man and a beautiful five-year-old girl. That bitch didn't care. Samantha's own lawyers had foreclosed on her house. They'd claimed that her husband's insurance policy didn't cover the court costs. With the whole world against her, she'd simply given up. As she left the bathroom, she remembered her little Kira bouncing on her bed, blond pigtails dancing in the air.
No! Don't think about before!
She shuffled to the counter and laid her money down before ordering a Big Mac and a milk. Clutching the bag to her chest, she headed for the exit to the play yard. No one met her gaze.
The young man sat at the last table. Frowning he concentrated on weaving colored strands into a complex lanyard. Under the fluorescent lights the strands seemed to writhe with life of their own.
He looked up and smiled. "Join me?"
The question startled her. She started toward the table, then froze. "Less trouble when I eat outside. Besides, I like to watch the kids."
"No problem." He stood and walked toward the play yard.
She followed, confused, but pleased to have someone to talk to. He sat at her favorite table with his back to the kids.
Working on his lanyard, he let her eat in peace. In the sunlight she was sure the strands pulsed. To make it last, she chewed slowly, her eyes drawn to the skillful flash of his fingers. When she looked up from the last morsel, she found him studying her.
"Samantha, this is your lucky day." He smiled, again.
She shuddered. "How do you know my name?" She stared at him, feeling vulnerable. He continued weaving the glowing cords. Something in the back of her mind warned her that the thing looked alive.
"I know all about you," he said in a soft voice. "Relax, I just want to help."
"I won't go back downtown. There's less crime here and lots of good places to hide your stuff." Samantha felt dizzy as she met his eyes.
He nodded. "That's how I see it, too. Most of the people I help live here." He pulled a long strand from the lanyard and let it dangle on the table. "How would you like a place to live and a decent job?"
His eyes had a depth that seemed to go on forever. Samantha shook her head. "I'm sorry?"
"You heard me." He ran a finger down the cord.
She felt a tingle run up her spine. "Yes! I'd take any job!" Slow down, you don't know what he wants. She studied him. His eyes looked sincere.
He cleared his throat. "There is one condition. You must choose someone to take your place." He brushed his fingers through the weave. Millions of threads seemed to flow across his hands now.
Samantha didn't hesitate. "The rich bitch wife of the drunk who killed my family. She stole my life. She deserves to know what that's like." The words felt good.
He raised an eyebrow. Flipping a lavender cord out of the lanyard he smoothed it onto the table next to the other. "Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord." He smiled. I can improve your situation, but healing must come from within." He crossed the strands, twisting and looping them. He wove a different pattern than before. Her world grew fuzzy. Tug, thrust, twist... She closed her eyes against the confusion in her head.
Silence.
Samantha blinked. "What do you think you are, my fairy god--"
They stood in the courtyard of a condominium complex. The scent of jasmine drifted on the breeze. She glanced around, then looked down at herself. She wore a stylish pantsuit. I'm clean! The world grayed and her head spun.
He gripped her arm, steadying her. "Listen, up." He pointed to a condo with a tricycle parked in front. "That's your new home. Your new life."
Confused, she stared at the building. It did look vaguely familiar. When she turned to ask him about it, he was gone.
As she turned towards the complex, she thought she recognized some of the people walking by. This can't be real. I slept in the bushes last night. As she walked to the door, her hand automatically slipped into her purse and fished out keys. She stood holding a brass one, knowing it would work. She unlocked and opened the door. Lisa raced across the room and leapt into her arms.
"Mommy, want to see how fast I can ride? I can go super, super fast."
At the sight of Lisa's pigtails, reality blurred. Memories of Kira blended with those of Lisa. Am I going crazy?
Jim called from the kitchen. "You're home early. Anything wrong?"
"Susan begged to finish my shift. She needs the money." Goose flesh crawled up her arms. She had been at work all day. Matter of fact, she'd worked in the County Clerk's office for over a year now. She took several deep breaths. Two sets of memories filled her head. What had that man done with that lanyard?
On the wall were family pictures, including one of the three of them walking on the beach. She remembered a perfect vacation in Santa Barbara.
Jim came out of the kitchen wearing an apron. "Lisa, wash up for dinner." He tickled her as she went by. "You're growing too fast, pumpkin." Turning, he took Samantha into his arms and kissed her. His hand slid down to her butt and squeezed. "I missed you."
She nuzzled his neck, smelling the after shave she'd given him last Christmas. This was the life, coming home to a prepared dinner. The pain of two years of torment eased as her old memories faded. If this is a dream, please God, don't let me wake up!
The next morning Samantha went through her normal routine. She dropped Lisa off at school and headed for work. It wasn't until she saw a homeless person pushing a shopping cart that she remembered her previous life. How could she forget those she'd loved. Was her first life simply a dream, or was she lying comatose in a ditch right now dreaming all this?
She'd promised herself that she wouldn't forget her first family, but as the weeks passed, she remembered less and less. Life was good and she felt happy.
Samantha left the party supply store balancing Lisa's birthday cake in one hand and a bag of party favors in the other. The cake had a large pink Power Ranger on it. Lisa had specifically requested one of those big candles shaped like a six. Mind full of plans, Samantha didn't recognize her surroundings.
A quiet voice spoke from against the wall. "Could you spare some change?" A dirty face peered up at her, clutching a grimy blanket tight.
Samantha started to walk past, then stopped and looked hard at the woman. She shuddered, almost dropping the cake. The woman who'd shoved her! Memories from three lifetimes fought for dominance in her mind.
Confused she studied the woman holding her hand out. Somehow, she knew this was the wife of the drunk. Samantha froze, feeling numb. Somehow, she couldn't find any anger, only pity. She pulled out a five-dollar bill and handed it to the woman. "Get something to eat."
The woman's smile froze. "You!"
Stomach churning, Samantha spun and hurried into the McDonalds. She glanced back out the window at the woman huddled on the curb.
I did that to her. The thought hit her like a blow to the face.
She found herself in the play yard sitting at her old table. Numbly, she watched as a child climbed on the jungle gym. Thoughts of the woman's fate, and her own, tangled together in her mind.
"Something bothering you?" a soft voice asked.
She looked up and saw the young man. She recoiled, as everything came rushing back to her.
"I transform you into a happy useful member of society and this is the thanks I get?"
Samantha's cheeks grew warm, and her hands trembled with anger. "Nobody should have to live like that!" His hands kept moving. The lanyard was almost complete now, the strands glowed.
"You said she deserved it." He sneered. "Do you want me to put things back how they were before?"
"I--" Her chest constricted. "I couldn't live without Jim and Lisa." The words came out a whisper.
His gaze bored into her. "So, what's the problem? Go home." He pointed at the cake. "Have your party." He stood to leave.
"Wait!" She balled her hands. "I know I should hate her," Samantha lowered her voice and met his stare, "but no one deserves a life like that."
His eyes squinted and fixed on her, cold and unblinking. "Are you choosing to cast aside your new life, for her?"
"Bastard! Was this just a cruel joke?" Bile burned in her throat. She struggled to find a point of balance between her two lives. Must she lose everything to save the woman? Could she live with the guilt of purposely condemning another to a living hell? Wouldn't that make her worse than the drunk's wife?
"Who gave you the right to screw with people's lives?" She spat the words at him.
"The choices are all yours." His smile didn't reach his eyes.
Samantha knocked Lisa's cake off the table and stood. "You planned this." She felt hot tears stream down her face. "Damn you."
"Choose," he ordered.
She wondered if she'd still remember Jim and Lisa. Forgive me. "I won't make her live like that."
His shoulders sagged as he relaxed and flashed her a sterile smile. "I had to test you."
A cold sensation flashed through her, and she stepped backward. His eyes seemed all pupil and the darkness went on forever. She gasped.
"You have healed yourself." He stood abruptly. "Go back to your family." He shimmered and slowly faded from sight. His voice reverberated in the air all around her. "The woman out front will get another chance."
Samantha muttered. "Sure, but when she climbs out of the gutter, who falls in?"
